This is the first time I've tried this.
Right now, at this very moment, I desperately want to eat buffalo flavored pretzel chips. These chips are like crack to me. I want just a couple...but they are seriously addictive and it's very hard to stop crunching on the salty-spicy goodness of it all.
(You're probably thinking - why don't I just not buy the damn things? Well, I'm already doing that with about 900 other items, including my favorite food of all time - chips and salsa - so in effect, fucking buffalo pretzel chips are my guilty pleasure. Eaten in moderation, and at the right time, they are an acceptable vice, in my book. A girl needs some pleasure in life, so I keep these around. That's just how it is.)
I've already eaten a somewhat nutritious dinner of Thai veggies and noodles and had two chocolate-covered marshmallows for dessert. That was a couple of hours ago. I just ate a rice cake because I swear I was hungry. Yes, I like rice cakes, shut up. (Really, I have an affinity for anything bland or salty that crunches. I really, really like the bland, salty crunch.)
Tonight I have gone to kickboxing as well as taken Masala for two 20-25 minute walks. If I stop right now, it might be a net loss in terms of calorie burning outweighing calorie intake...if nothing else, it will probably be a wash. But if I bust into the pretzels...it's all up in the air, and I'll feel like shit, regardless of the scientology of it all.
I'm writing this blog, hoping to push through the moment. The moment I talked about taking control of the other day. The moment when I give in and the snacking takes over.
Wow. Why is this so hard? Seriously. It shouldn't be that difficult,
but I guess it's just so easy to misstep, and it's like teetering on the edge of a cliff.
but I guess it's just so easy to misstep, and it's like teetering on the edge of a cliff.
Ok. The feeling has passed. For now. Wrigley's Doublemint, I may owe you my life. Ladies and gentlemen(?) reading my blog, thanks for your patience and non-judgment.
The devil in my cabinet.
3 comments:
I love that you write like you talk. It makes me smile.
Here's to the hope that blogging got you through it and kept you out of it.
I lost my battle with Garden Salsa Sun Chips this evening. Sun Chips are my little pleasure that I keep around when I want a treat, but anything in a bag seems to get me in trouble. I usually put them into individual portions in ziplock bags (yes, I am one of those people who actually does that), but I had just bought them and didn't even have time to get them in the bags before I'd overdone it.
OMG, Jenn, those chips are SOOO delish.
In regards to the "riding the moment out", for me, it got easier. (Granted, the medication helps, too!) But just the awareness of it made it worse at first, but then, as I practiced getting through it, it got easier. And now, most of the time, I can rationally put aside The Panic. I hope the blogging continues to help. And the Doublemint!
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