Blogging through it

This is the first time I've tried this.

Right now, at this very moment, I desperately want to eat buffalo flavored pretzel chips. These chips are like crack to me. I want just a couple...but they are seriously addictive and it's very hard to stop crunching on the salty-spicy goodness of it all.

(You're probably thinking - why don't I just not buy the damn things? Well, I'm already doing that with about 900 other items, including my favorite food of all time - chips and salsa - so in effect, fucking buffalo pretzel chips are my guilty pleasure. Eaten in moderation, and at the right time, they are an acceptable vice, in my book. A girl needs some pleasure in life, so I keep these around. That's just how it is.)

I've already eaten a somewhat nutritious dinner of Thai veggies and noodles and had two chocolate-covered marshmallows for dessert. That was a couple of hours ago. I just ate a rice cake because I swear I was hungry. Yes, I like rice cakes, shut up. (Really, I have an affinity for anything bland or salty that crunches. I really, really like the bland, salty crunch.)

Tonight I have gone to kickboxing as well as taken Masala for two 20-25 minute walks. If I stop right now, it might be a net loss in terms of calorie burning outweighing calorie intake...if nothing else, it will probably be a wash. But if I bust into the pretzels...it's all up in the air, and I'll feel like shit, regardless of the scientology of it all.

I'm writing this blog, hoping to push through the moment. The moment I talked about taking control of the other day. The moment when I give in and the snacking takes over.

Wow. Why is this so hard? Seriously. It shouldn't be that difficult,
but I guess it's just so easy to misstep, and it's like teetering on the edge of a cliff.

Ok. The feeling has passed. For now. Wrigley's Doublemint, I may owe you my life. Ladies and gentlemen(?) reading my blog, thanks for your patience and non-judgment.

The devil in my cabinet.

Small Successes

Hurray! It's been a relatively successful weekend. Friday night I did eat pizza and gummi candy, but it was an improvement from every other night this week.

Yesterday was my best day in ages. Cereal for breakfast, Coke Zero and popcorn and Luna bar for lunch (hey, I was at the movie theatre), delicious couscous (with tomato, kale, chickpeas, and feta mixed in) for dinner. I bought some way yummy fruit bars for dessert and that was it. Although it wasn't a perfect day, I'm just happy I didn't compulsively eat pretzels at 10:45pm. Baby steps.

During the day today I barely ate anything. I just kind of ran out time. I ate some breakfast, then watched some tv and before I knew it, it was time for my kayaking lesson. Two hours later, I'm rushing home to feed Masala and change, then heading out the door for a Super Bowl party about an hour away. I did indulge in lots of junky food at the party, but I don't think it was any more than anyone else. Again, no compulsive eating alone, so that's another check in the win column.

Wow. This post is way boring. Sorry. I'll try harder next time, but I felt some positive was needed to balance out all the negative I've been putting out there lately.

Now, I need sleep. You know people that don't get enough sleep are more likely to eat crappy food and more of it? I'm pretty sure I read that somewhere.... Anyway, I'm gonna use it as an excuse to get all the sleep I can.